On The Flip-Side.

It’s been one hell of a month. I couldn’t even write if I wanted too. So I just drew pictures instead. Sitting quietly recreating portraits. Not thinking. Not feeling. Only doing. Smudging graphite into thick white paper. Messy hands, old thinned out joggers and coffee. Cigarette after cigarette. I know now, I was purging, and it’s almost impossible to feel right when you’re purging.

So, I just stopped. Stopped everything.

I said a huge fuck it, to living up to expectations, suffering under imagined pressure and just gave up. I got really sick and tired of people, of burdens, of fighting with my own mind,  of giving everything I had to everyone else, and saving nothing for myself. It was my fault, even though it came from the right place. Sometimes you just have to lay low, say no, and get your shit together. Which is exactly what I’m doing. Coming out on the flip side, it all makes sense. But, not in the beginning, and so this is why I haven’t been writing. I just…had nothing honest to say.

I’m not ready to share, this big revelation I’ve experienced, but I will in due time. Let’s just say for now…without this truth, having been revealed, I would have stayed under ground for a long time. But, that’s not what happened, and I’m so very grateful.

I can say, for the very first time in my life…

I KNOW EXACTLY WHO I AM.

No doubt. Only solid ground. Sturdy shoes on my feet.A strong voice. Full and deep.

I’ll leave it here..and say..I’m back.

Let’s do this thing.

 

 

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6 thoughts on “On The Flip-Side.

  1. So glad to see you re-surface after taking the well-deserved “me time”. Learn to role at your own speed. We are in no rush to see who you were. We already know who you are.

    Cheers

  2. I’ve really missed you and your wonderful art, Angie (if I may call you by your first name).
    I’m so happy for you to have been able to rediscover yourself and figure out who you are. Things will only get brighter and better from here on out. I can’t wait for more posts – your writing and your art also had this certain kind of unique edge that I have yet to find anywhere else.
    Welcome back!
    ‘Nessa

  3. there are for sure hard times and sometimes you do have to just forget everything and everyone else just to survive. do more than survive angie. Be sure to really live. I’m glad you have delved deeper into who you are and discovered what you were looking for. Now is the time to delve deeper into who God is and find yourself living within Him. Praise God for a stronger heart, soul, and mind.
    🙂

  4. Who was it that said ‘life is not a destination, but a journey?’. Not really sure, but however you get there, get there and get there with Him! Praying blessings on you and yours, ’cause the valleys are deep and often lonely, but they are indeed where the growth happens…when u feel alone he is there…and we’re in your corner.

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