Two days before the destruction of Japan, I had a dream.
I was sitting on my couch in my living room. Doing something as simple as watching t.v.
It was the afternoon, and my son, was upstairs sleeping in his crib.
The house was still, and everything was peacefully quiet.
A regular moment in life.
Then, I heard the noise.
The loud rushing thunder.
In it came, faster then anything I’d ever felt.
Pouring forth, an ocean of waves, filling my home.
Through the windows, crashing the glass around me.
It came so fast, pushing me backwards as I bolted up to run upstairs.
Running up the stairs of my house, the water enveloping me.
Pushing me forth, pushing me back.
I was not strong enough. It was too big. Too vast. Too powerful.
I made it to the top of the stairs, mostly because the water was carrying me upwards in its rage.
I could see the crib.
About ten feet from my grasp.
Reaching my hand out towards him, and the house, tore in half, under the pressure.
Cracking, swelling, and falling to pieces.
No more house.
He was gone.
I was gone.
I woke up, a deep wailing grief escaping my lungs.
A terrified, pathetic sound, pushing forth from my throat.
A cold sweat.
It’s okay Angie. But, I couldn’t shake it.
Two days after this, I went to the bank, to cash my baby bonus check. Standing in line, I looked up at the flat screen t.v they have there, and splashed across the news, was the wreckage of the tsunami. At first it didn’t hit me. I was just too sad. I just cashed my check, and went and did groceries and other normal things.
We came home after this, and I sat down on my couch. My husband put our son down for a nap. I found myself just staring into the air, and this grief came over me. Don’t get me wrong, we all grieve when things as awful as this happen. But, this was different. As the grief welled up in me. I started having visions.
I could see, in my minds eye, people scattering. Running for cover. Terror.
I could feel and hear their screams. Their fear. Panic.
Mothers and fathers crying out for their children.
I felt the seniors holed up in old age homes. Weighed to the ground like huge rocks in their wheel chairs.
I saw dogs paddling in the great water, looking for something to grasp.
My skin, felt as though it was under water. It was cold and clammy to the touch.
I felt like I was not even here. But that I was there, in Japan, in spirit, a witness.
I have never felt grief like this, never. Ever.
One word kept repeating itself over and over in my heart.
My husband sat here with me, watching me breathe with this.
The visions and the grief was so strong, I could do nothing but weep.
I knew this grief was not my own, and these visions, far from my imagination.
With each vision, and intense feeling, I would gag, and almost throw up right there on the spot.
I cried out to my husband, and to the Lord, FATHER, what do I do?
Why are you showing me this??
The Lord spoke to my husband, and He said,
Pray daughter, weep for my children, and pray for them. I need your prayers.
So, I fell to my knees, shaking in grief. Weakened unto the Lord, weakened by the catastrophe playing in my minds eye.
I prayed like I have never prayed before.
I prayed with a faith and humility I have never felt.
There was great power in that prayer.
Great love and strength in that prayer.
I knew these words would reach far across the earth and meet his children in Japan.
It was in this moment, that God taught me what praying really is.
It is a great and loving power. One prayer like this, could do just as much, if not more, then sending one hundred thousand dollars to red cross. I felt this from the core of my being. I have never felt so small, and so big all at once. I’m telling you, if I could have died, in that moment to save Japan, I would have.
Why? because I felt the truth.
Because I felt, the naked, absolute truth.
My life, is not my own.
It is Gods.
In that moment, I gave it to Him. I understood, clearly, and with all love, that He is the way, the truth, and the life, and I would do anything He asked of me. Even if it meant death. There was no fear in me. Only pure acceptance. Pure and real devotion and sacrifice. I come last. Everything else is before me. In this, I understood the love of Jesus Christ, because the Lord, My Father, had placed the love of Jesus Christ on my heart, and I was willing to die for it.
I still am today, and forever will be.
So, people have been asking me, Angie, why have you been so quiet?
This is why.
I am quiet, because I am not the same person I was two weeks ago. Far from it.
There will be more visions, and more dreams.
I will continue.
He will continue.
Yes, I will finish my story. But, for now, this is my path. The Lord has much to tell, and show. I will be a voice at times, and this blog will be service to that. It will also be my memoirs of my past, but my past serves no purpose unless it bleeds into the wisdom of my present and future, the wisdom rightfully given by Jesus Christ, and available to all. I realize that some of you, will fight with this. Some of you may not believe me, and that’s okay. I love and honour you regardless.
I take no pride in this, and none of this is my doing. I am but a student to His ways, and His Word. I cannot hide this any longer, nor would I even want to. I honour the purpose given to me, and will speak truth in all my ways, when Jesus Christ gives me the strength to do so. I am not ashamed. I am not afraid. Yes, The Lord gives gifts like this, and yes, He has chosen me for this path. I will not deny Him. Or anyone else for that matter. This is not, the only dream, or visions I have had and they will not be the last. The only difference, from before and now, is that I am no longer afraid to display it.
I am not special, or unique in any human way. All I did, was offer all of who I am, to Him. That’s it.
We are all offered the same hand.
It’s up to you, whether or not you want to take it.
I chose, YES.
I love you all.
I’m here, if you have any questions, or need anything at all.
God Bless each and every one of you, in all your ways.
And please, thank God, you are standing on dry ground right now.
Go hug the crap out of your kids, or pets or whatever you love.
The only difference between you and Japan, is where you live.
Let’s not ever take that for granted.